Happy Birthday You Ginger Twat Card - Funny Ginger Red Head Birthday Rude Gifts For Him Her Swearing Profanity Cards

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I’m 70 and I still enjoy sex. I see my current partner for extended weekends. For half the week I do my own thing: I look after my grandchildren, I belong to a women’s drama group, I see my friends. I was ready for the menopause to happen. I think we have to come to terms with life’s changes in the most positive way we can. You lose some of your lubrication, but a little bit of spit solves that problem. Having endometriosis means that my periods are irregular and can be excruciating. It’s like a hot, burning sensation in my uterus that radiates throughout the lower half of my body, into my hips and down into my knees. People think I’m exaggerating, but sometimes I can’t work. I also get a sudden sharp shooting pain in my vagina, which catches me off guard. It’s exhausting having to live with a level of pain that never really goes away. Popularized by the late, great and hilariously foul-mouthed Big Brother contestant Jade Goody over a decade ago, the term meaning unattractive female is still fair game in Britain. If you’re looking for a way to insult an American woman without her realizing, this is ideal. It got to the point where I was obsessive in my desire to have a child. My mum told me I needed some counselling. I started to re-evaluate what womanhood could look like for me, outside of my biological capabilities. I think we kind of take for granted that we’re going to be able to have children. Not being able to conceive doesn’t reduce your value as a woman, it doesn’t make you less of a woman – but that’s kind of what society tells us. Now, her latest work puts vulvas and vaginas in the spotlight thanks to her new book Womanhood: The Bare Reality and forthcoming Channel 4 documentary: 100 Vaginas.

To American ears, this might sound like some kind of unadventurous English fish. Alas, it’s merely one of many hundred words we’ve evolved to refer to a somewhat idiotic, oafish individual. I went to the doctor and, although I was too young [24] for a smear test, she did one anyway. I was sent to the hospital for a colposcopy, which involves a camera going into the vagina. A consultant said, ‘I’ve been doing this for 30 years and I’d be surprised if it wasn’t cancer’. Two weeks later it was confirmed. I felt hot, sweaty, shaky. ‘Cancer’ means dying, that’s what we all think it means. I was just 24, I couldn’t understand how this could be happening. I feel like I’ve been a creative warrior for women, helping them reclaim their bodies and their stories – and I’m fiercely protective of them. I hope it’s a game changer, especially for young women. If I’d seen and read this when I was 18, I think my entire life would have been different.I feel a bit broken as a woman because we’re supposed to carry babies. Also, I have a shorter vagina now so I can’t even get the same pleasure I used to. I felt angry that the part of my body, which is central to women’s identity, had done a number on me at 24. It’s mild and reassuringly vintage but roam a UK school playground on your own looking miserable and you might still have this barked at you from across the tarmac. Shout this at an American loner kid, however, and he’ll assume you’re a lunatic. Where would you normally see another vulva?” photographer Laura Dodsworth asks me. “Mainly only in porn,” she answers. “Especially if you’re looking online. But there’s a world of difference between how you see vulvas in porn – and how you see them in real life. It’s so important for women to know what vulvas look like. It can help with body image anxiety. We really need to talk about them because many women haven’t looked at their own. They don’t know what’s down there.” Dr Naomi Crouch, chair of the British Society for Paediatric and Adolescent Gynaecology, has also noticed a “marked increase in girls and young women seeking labiaplasty” over the last few years.” This term, meaning one who engages in self, erm, stimulation, is a milder version of w**ker, which – perhaps you’ve noticed this too - Americans have recently adopted but serially misuse. They seem to think it’s one of those British slurs that doubles as a term of endearment. It’s not.

This is one of the harsher terms on the list, perhaps because of its literal meaning: lady parts. Still, it’s a less offensive version of the other single syllable word that means the same thing. Brits are want to precede either word with “you daft…” or “you utter…” I’ve used “twat” around Americans and who think it’s got a satisfying ring to it. Could be one to watch over here.

With that in mind, she couldn’t not confront her own vulnerabilities. “When I first looked at my vulva I thought, ‘Whoa, there’s a lot going on there!’ But taking part has been transformative for me: I’m more comfortable in my skin as a woman. It’s a pivotal experience to do something like this because it’s so exposing.

My early experiences of womanhood started with the women who raised me: my nan taught me about enjoying yourself, your body and who you are. My mum is my best friend, there’s nothing that I don’t share with her. I decided I wanted to wax my vulva, and I asked [her] to do it. My mum gave birth to me so there’s nothing that I have that she hasn’t seen. And I trust her. One summer when I was 13, I went to scout camp, and with that came the routine of communal showering. The camp had a shower building with 2 separate showering rooms, each with 10 shower heads along the walls. For some reason, it was "swimsuits" in one room, naked on the other room. As I mentioned, I showered naked in PE class when I was in 5th grade, so I went to the "naked" room. It was less crowded, with about 4 other guys showering in their birthday suits.I never wanted to have children until I developed reproductive health problems. When I was 19, I had a Mirena coil fitted and that caused me to get pelvic inflammatory disease, which was excruciatingly painful. I grew a cyst on my right ovary very rapidly. I was in and out of A&E and I had to suspend my studies at uni. In the end I had emergency surgery that resulted in the loss of my right ovary and fallopian tube and they drained five litres of fluid from the cyst. The labia minora are usually first, and sometimes more prominent during the early stages. But it can be hard to find accurate information about this.” American Roald Dahl fans might be familiar with this one from reading The Twits – a wonderfully vile tale of a dysfunctional married couple who keep pet monkeys and systematically abuse each other. Curiously, however, the book doesn’t shed much light on what it actually means to be a twit. It’s one of those semi-affectionate insults we might throw at a family member or friend who’s behaving in a less than cerebral manner. Synonyms include: wally, berk, prat, numpty, knob-head, nincompoop and tit. I didn’t grow up with my father but I thought he was incredible. When I was a teenager, I’d go and spend the weekend with him. One night he got into bed with me and started touching me. The next day I confronted him. His reasoning was that he wanted me to realise that I had a beautiful body and that sex was a wonderful thing. I was like, ‘You’re not the right person to be teaching me any of this because you’re my father.’