Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

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I thank God for leading me to Good Boundaries and Goodbyes at this exact time in my life and felt Him speaking to me through Lysa's writing. I'm sure many other women in similar circumstances will feel the same. Receive therapeutic wisdom you can trust directly from Lysa’s Christian counselor Jim Cress, who weighs in throughout the book. I read “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way”, by Lysa Terkeurst several years ago, and I have tried to read each new release she has had since. That book spoke to me and touched me more than any other book I have ever read. With this latest release being about boundaries, I knew I better read (and study) this book as well!

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes summary - Blinkist Good Boundaries and Goodbyes summary - Blinkist

It's good to have healthy boundaries, but the world takes that to extremes. Jesus is our example. He died for the very people who would betray Him. He died for me. I disappoint Him daily. What if He just cut me off?? Am I really supposed to do that so easily with others?! A consequence must be clearly stated and firmly adhered to. If you fail to follow through on the consequence, the other person will see your consequence as an empty threat. Someone resistant to your boundaries may accuse you of being hard-hearted, of making threats or ultimatums, or of taking things too seriously. I highly recommend! I went into reading this book unsure of what I would glean, but knowing that I needed to read it. This book offers so many thought provoking sentences and paragraphs. There are so many things to highlight, study along-side the truth of God’s Word, and ponder deeply. I ended my reading feeling more assure of who I am in Christ, and non-apologetic about the boundaries that need to be set in my life for the good of myself and little family as a whole. Lysa TerKeurst understands this dance with dysfunction and wants to be your insightful, compassionate friend who will teach you that it isn't unloving to set a boundary, and it isn't unchristian to say goodbye. You'll be relieved to learn that boundaries aren't just a good idea, they're a God idea. Here are a few phrases/sentences that completely altered my state of thinking and helped me further combat the ever life debilitating tendency of people-pleasing that I have struggled with for so long:Terkeurst’s book is highly respectful of her faith and people. As a Christian author, Terkeurst constantly finds ways to work-in respect for God; this may turn away some readers, but this is perfectly acceptable for her target audience. Additionally, despite her experience, Terkeurst does not talk about people, spouses, or those who hurt her in a disrespectful way. Instead, she expresses hope that those who cause harm grow and find emotional healing. I came out of this book feeling hopeful for myself and others, and I think most other readers will have a similar experience. Determine the appropriate amount of personal and emotional access someone has to you based on how responsible they'll be with that access Save yourself 6 months and go read Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Now THAT is an excellent, thought-provoking book on boundaries. Early in the book, Terkeurst writes, “I’ll be with you as we trust God to lead us through every word and every step. And you’ll also hear from my Christian counsellor Jim Cress, who will weigh in with therapeutic insights throughout the book.” The book applies current best practices in therapy and relationship counselling to its subject matter. Additionally, it heavily relies on biblical teachings and narratives to help reinforce each point. Most of the book comes from Terkeurst’s personal experiences, and these outside sources support her main topics. Terkeurst does not present any false information; however, her interpretation of the Christian scriptures is sometimes questionable. (I don’t think it’s fair to say her interpretations are wrong. I only mean that someone could argue for a compelling interpretation that contradicts what Terkeurst sometimes.) Nevertheless, the book seems accurate in what it teaches and encourages the reader to learn. This week we look a Abraham and Lot, Paul and Barnabas, Jesus and Judas. When done appropriately, some goodbyes give relationships the space necessary to possibly heal and get better over time.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean refusing to forgive someone or cutting off love. It’s about the level of access you give someone to your heart. Love is unconditional, but access should never be; the amount of access someone has should be directly commensurate to the level of responsibility they display. I was unfamiliar with Lysa TerKeurst when I happened upon Proverbs 31 Ministries on Facebook and discovered she was about to release a book about setting boundaries and, when necessary, saying goodbye to unsustainable relationships. I thought a book like that might apply to a current difficult relationship for which I was seeking ... something. So, I signed up and received an advance copy. And you also have to see yourself as being just as sufficient for God’s love as other people are. If you’re giving too much in your relationships because you believe it’s the Christian thing to do, you’re not alone in your misunderstanding of Christ’s command to forgive – more on that in a little while. In my opinion, the book could've been much stronger if the author had taken more time with the book. It feels rushed in many ways, including the fact that she's admittedly still dealing with a lot of the things that she's speaking as an expert on.Her honesty, authenticity and writing style make you feel like you know her personally and are just having a conversation with her. As a Christian, you’re called to forgive. And that calling can seem like it’s in conflict with ending relationships. But remember, your relationship with God isn’t unconditional. It depends on your obedience. He’ll always love you, but unless you follow him, you won’t live in eternity with him. That’s the ultimate goodbye. Lysa’s book reminded me of my college years when I would write papers for classes, be way below the word count, and fill them with fluff to meet the word count minimum. Lysa’s book would have been better as a blog post, not an entire book.