Try to experiment with new types of floggers, such as ones made of rubber, rope, leather, horsehair, PVC, nylon, or chains. Rubber and horsehair floggers are great for those who enjoy a more stinging sensation, while leather is prone to cause bruising, and nylon which causes both a stinging and a thud sensation.

Remember how Christian Grey and Anastasia had a written contract? It actually wasn't a horrible idea. Since BDSM is all about communication, communication, and communication, it might be helpful to write down what you and your partner discuss in a contract of sorts—even if you're dating or married. This kinky little game requires the correct accessories, but once you've invested in a vagina pump you're all set. Pussy and clit pumps work by creating a vacuum over the labia and/or clitoris. Increasing blood flow makes the area become (temporarily) engorged and consequently more sensitive and ergo more pleasurable; perfect for a good pounding. 17. Temperature play Remember: This is pleasurable and one of the safest forms of sex because of the significant amount of work put into boundary-setting and open communication. Most people who engage in sadism or masochism enjoy a sense of empowerment when they take on one of these sexual roles.If you’re new to the world of BDSM, you may not be familiar with the notion of aftercare. But this is actually a very important activity practiced by those who engage and live the lifestyle. It’s something to take note of as a means to keeping both parties emotionally, physically, and mentally safe and secure. While Dom/sub dynamics are primarily found in kink, they actually play out in most forms of sex. One person is usually the more submissive partner, while the other is more dominant. But within the context of BDSM, these dynamics become even more explicit. BDSM stands for bondage, Dominance/Dominant, submissive/submission, and sadomasochism. This is when two or more people engage in consensual power exchange. The sub willingly hands over the power within the scene to the Dominant.

The number one rule for tying safely is to ALWAYS have safety shears within reaching distance,” Sydona says. “The second is to be able to communicate to your partner well, both as both a top [person doing the tying] and bottom [person being tied]. Being able to communicate explicitly and coherently before, during, and after a session is what keeps it as safe and enjoyable as possible.” Whether you're just getting into BDSM or you're a seasoned pro, the practice will always be "an experiential process where the more you do, the more you'll know," says Richmond. She assures she's "very rarely heard of someone getting hurt beyond what was agreed upon," but you still have your partner to think about. Taking your time helps ensure that you don't cross their boundaries, either—because once you do, they might not want to give BDSM another go. 8. Space out your experiences. Medical News Today has strict sourcing guidelines and draws only from peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We avoid using tertiary references. We link primary sources — including studies, scientific references, and statistics — within each article and also list them in the resources section at the bottom of our articles. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy. The key word here is "consent." Kink is all about giving and taking power in an empowered way. "Since consent is the cornerstone of these practices, it provides an opportunity to ensure [that] the person surrendering control and the person in charge stay within the sexual boundaries they’ve set," Moali adds. How D/s can play out in BDSM scenes.

How to Use Bed Restraints and Under The Bed Ties

D/s dynamics will play out in every kinky scenario, because it is the core of the practice. But how it shows up is another story. This is one of the things that makes kink so appealing. You can completely customize an experience to cater to your specific interests. But nurturing a Dom/sub dynamics is not entirely relegated to the sphere of pain play. Kink can involve sensory play, elaborate pain-free role play, and much more. These scenes are made by the two or more people playing them out. It is a unique and fully bespoke experience. Biting can easily go very wrong so start off with a nibble before experimenting with pressure. Again, sterilise and cover any skin breakages. • Spanking and caning If you already have experience with BDSM and your partner does not, remember to meet them where they are and start at a slower pace. Wright suggests taking 101 workshops together or reading books about it and discussing it later. And before you get around to putting your knowledge to practice, make sure your partner is clear on the importance of consent and boundaries. Before getting started, let’s talk safety.