I firmly believe that I belong in the SCS. But I grew up with a dual identity in a family and home that never felt like I belonged. So, I've learned to be resilient and fight against the odds. To all those who were at the event and who are currently on my LinkedIn network please can you share the following with those who I am unable to connect with and reach: Extracurricular activities worked for me because doing those things outside my day job made me a better leader in the civil service. I had been to almost 100 deputy director interviews, and I wasn't successful until I was. Still, I always felt that I was punching below my weight.

Thank you Libby Watson Paula Woollam Simon Tse CBE (and the entire team who worked to tirelessly behind the scenes) for the support in the months leading up to the event and on the day for making me feel so welcomed and part of the family. I appreciate that I can speak Bengali, but the dual identity I felt early on in my life was a bit of a struggle. Growing up in an environment where you have two cultures to balance is difficult for an immigrant. I had to be very eastern at home but demonstrate a western culture at school.I've got this constant fire in my belly: I genuinely believe that we belong, and because of the difficulties I have experienced in my life and professional career, especially around discrimination, I don't want others to go through what I've gone through. When you believe in yourself, you dare to know that you belong to that space. Even though people are not inviting me to the table, I don't need it because I will build a table and bring people in. Growing up in the 1980s, Nurjahan Khatun is a daughter of immigrants who came to the UK in hopes of being able to provide for their family, locally and abroad. Growing up in this environment, it was the norm for women and girls to remain silent, ask no questions, and do as they are told. Nurjahan was taught to do what pleased her family, and to remain a well-mannered, and well-cultured daughter. She played that role initially but, after a while, she realized it went against everything she felt and believed. We see each attempt that Nurjahan makes to raise her voice...to be heard. Hook of Hope explores these moments and more as we learn about her journey.

This week I attended Civil Service Live in London where I was a panel member; title of the panel discussion was ‘How a strong evidence and science ecosystem can help us improve public service delivery, be more innovative and do more (even with less).’ I was working 16 hours a day and six days a week. I was travelling around the world; it was allvery intense. That kind of lifestyle is not conducive to caring responsibilities. So, I had to make a decision and change the type of job I was doing,” she said. Just by coming together has been a huge success. By the end of the day I was like a proud Mama as I was overwhelmed with feeling incredibly proud of having such an amazing team who are supportive, go the extra mile despite the challenges, who are kind and respond so professionally to my every demand! colleagues sharing my leadership journey and brought together the many themes the two day event covered:Department of Criminology and Police Science, Mawlana Bhashani Science and Technology University, Tangail, Bangladesh. The interview took place before Khatun's presentation at this week's Ethnic Minorities into Leadershipin Leeds. In the conversation, she revealeddetails of the challenges she encountered, the sources of resilience, and the drivers to become the leader she wanted to be. A whole new world I kept going because I did not doubt my ability. I don't say it out of arrogance, but I know the value I bring to organisations. I know how hard I work and the quality I deliver: nobody can take that away from me. improved awareness of the science and evidence ecosystem especially in the policy and operational decision-making process. To applyfor an SCS position is a very draining process. There are five steps: the application itself where you have to write a statement. And if you get sifted, you will go through a two-hour interview with an occupational psychiatrist and then on to a couple of hours on psychometric tests.

My dad used to say: what you put in is what you get out. But if you're going to be lazy about it and not do anything to make things happen for yourself, nothing will fall into your lap. Ever since I left the Home Office, I've been aiming for the SCS and getting myself ready to do what I needed to apply for a deputy director role. Thank you for the opportunity to have a conversation with you all at a time where it is so needed to help make the #civilservice even more inclusive and welcoming to all. EDUCATION IS A BLESSING: Last week I was at a residential learning week at Oxford University Said Business School through the Major Projects Leadership Academy (MPLA). This was the second time me and my cohort of amazing individuals from across government came together to spend a whole week of learning. People have sacrificed and paved the way for us, and I've got a role to play, especially while I'm in the civil service. I will do my best to do what I can to carve out spaces for people who feel marginalised.We can't ignore that the murder of George Floyd sent waves of change to all spectrums of society, andit isa great time as an ethnic minority to leverage that in a positive way and where possible use that as an opportunity to develop and grow yourself. Departments are realising the benefit of diversity, and that's good news for you. There are so many talent programmes for ethnic minorities now. It wasn't like that in the early years of my career. Sharing her story allowed Nurjahan to demonstrate how education played a positive role in her own leadership journey - with the aim to increase the team's understanding of lived experience in informing their work and identifying the work culture the team wants within their own Directorate. Learning and education is very precious to me as my younger self had to fight against my family, my community, certain ideologies and against all odds just to pursue further and higher education. The journey was difficult but so worth it.

I am sorry I did not get a chance to speak to you all so do reach out to me here, connect with me and stay in touch; It took me five years of continuous interviewing for a senior civil servant position, sogetting the role is a monumental momentbecause I am not aware of any other visible female Muslimdirector anywhere in government.

A few weeks ago I had my whole Directorate Away Day for the first time since I started this role and I was super excited for the day; that included key suppliers we work with - thank you CloudKubed reps for coming down. Working in constant ambiguity/change is not easy and builds a level of resilience that is impressive and builds great partnerships. Readers will discover the resilience and strength it takes to find oneself. We will see Nurjahan hook on to hope, as she finds her true and authentic self.