Most of my life is spent avoiding conflict. I hardly ever visit Syria.” – Alex Horne (Photo: Pexels.com) Wat is het nationale gerecht van Nederland? Bami met kaas (What’s the national dish of the Netherlands? Bami with cheese)

Apparently, Dutch is one of the easiest languages to grasp if you’re an English speaker and even easier if you speak German, but you might need some ‘dutch courage’ to attempt pronouncing all their guttural-sounding ‘g’s. My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. If I knew that we wouldn’t need the bloody phone.” – Lee Evans Omafiets, literally ‘grandmother bicycle’ is one of the most common items in the Netherlands. If you live in a Dutch city, you’ll almost certainly ride one. These bikes have a frame that allows you to step onto the bike easily, even if you’re wearing a skirt. They allow you to sit upright and ride comfortably along your route. Photo: DEA/G. SIOEN/Getty Images Now it’s really diverse. Some of the biggest Dutch comics ( caberatiers is what we call them) are: Hans Teeuwen, Theo Maassen, Najib Amhali and Jochem Meyer. They are all known to talk about taboos and about different cultures.I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day. An important aspect of Dutch etiquette involves having good timekeeping habits. The Dutch tend to take punctuality very seriously, so make sure you arrive at appointments on time. If you’re running more than five minutes late, you should inform the people expecting you. In addition, Dutch people are known to schedule plans weeks or even months in advance. With that in mind, it’s best to avoid showing up at someone’s house unannounced. It’s particularly wise to avoid interrupting someone during dinner, which usually starts between 17:00 and 19:00. Conversation and communication in the Netherlands The way the Dutch make jokes is closely related to something I talked about earlier: being direct. The Dutch are known for being direct and this is also reflected in their humour and the way they make jokes. It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf. and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle Despite their penchant for efficiency, many people note that the Dutch have a disregard for waiting in lines. Most people will wait in lines at shops or supermarkets to pay for their shopping, but queuing etiquette isn’t considered an important part of Dutch culture. Celebrations in the Netherlands

I’ve found countless examples of amusing expressions, insults and, vocabulary oftentimes with equally funny or interesting origins. I do love a bit of etymology so I’ve included some of them where known. This Dutch delicacy was invented in 1919, when the director of a licorice factory decided to market aniseed-flavored grains as a sandwich filling. Over the years, many different types of hagelslag have evolved, and the best-known is perhaps chocolate. Hailstorm in a sandwich? Yes, please. Neushoorn Since learning Afrikaans, I’ve discovered a bunch of hilarious Afrikaans expressions. But, they can’t take all the credit for these linguistic gems. Afrikaans is actually the offspring of the Dutch language which formed after the Dutch settled in South Africa in 1652. A Brit, a Spaniard and a Dutch walk into a bar.. .. unfortunately the Icelander couldn't come, he's still in the European Championship. Which of these funny Dutch phrases did you like this most? Speak Dutch? What other Dutch idioms and phrases would you add?Origin: The expression first suggested dominating an opponent in a fight and, over time, its meaning extended to things one can learn. 27. Cucumber time Hoe herken je een dinosaurus in Nederland? Aan de fiets tussen de scherpe tanden. (How do you recognize a dinosaur in the Netherlands? From the bike between the sharp teeth.)

If you are learning Dutch this is difficult to understand. Humour is often the last part of understanding Dutch. Because it has to do with understanding the words, but also about the way you say them, the intonation. And, also, with culture you have to know what they are talking about. They both slowly remove clogs. I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original. Thanks for the gold ! Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

30. What have I got hanging on my bike now?

Wat is een dinosaurus als hij door de Keukenhof loopt? Een Tulpenstomper (What’s a dinosaur walking through the Keukenhof? A Tulip Crusher.) I, a French person, recently bought a female hamster from the Netherlands Her name is 'Amster Dame. Maf is Dutch for crazy. It’s a more old-fashioned version of gek. And the ketel is a kettle. When someone is acting strangely, he’s a mafketel.

I hope these additional funny Dutch jokes brought a smile to your face! Dutch are always very great in humor and love to have fun in their lives. Remember, so feel free to share these with friends and family to spread the laughter!What do you call a water barrier constructed for rodents in the capital of the Netherlands? An Amsterdam hamster Dam Waarom hebben ze in Amsterdam veel platte fietsen? Van het grachten langs fietsen. (Why do they have many flat bikes in Amsterdam? From biking along the canals.)