Joined in 2023 
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If you’re not OK with it, I think you need to admit that and speak up now. The fact is, your wife is having an
About 3 months ago I started to have an affair with my neighbor. We both have children who are friends and we have always spent a lot of time together. It all started off innocently enough and over the years we flirted and started to become emotionally attached. We discussed and shared a lot of things in the past. He is an intelligent person and a good friend of my husband. Most of the time my husband use to travel for his work. I don’t see this so much as what happened between your wife and the other guy — it’s important, of course, especially if your wife feels in any way unsafe or uncomfortable — but I see this as more about what is (or is not) going on between you and your wife and how your immediate and most dominant reaction is concern for YOU and YOUR feelings rather than hers. Glad you all went here — because as I read Wendy’s response I thought … EEEEP…. maybe I should sit this one out.He was not impressed by it and almost never responded in the group chat. But she kept including him. New neighbours moved in a few months ago. I saw the husband not long after they had moved in and we introduced ourselves and exchanged pleasantries. This doesn’t make her a bad person. Far from it in my book… Look — the idea that a grown women has to always be rescued from a public flirtation where all she had to do was slightly pull away isn’t exactly very empowering.
Just over a year ago, a lady moved in next door to us – she’s a widow aged 56. My wife and I have got along really well with her and are pleased to know her. I don’t think it’s fair to call him out for not marching over to protect his wife, but he’s left out literally any description about his wife’s emotional response to literally everything. Almost to the point that it seems like he can’t recognize other people’s emotions. And his regret about the conversation with his wife is that he didn’t ask if this had happened before, and how long it happened for…. like information gathering must be strictly quantitative? Wow, so you see a man grope your wife’s butt at a party and rather than, I don’t know, ask your wife if she’s ok, confront the guy, or suggest leaving the party, you… do absolutely nothing. Until the next morning when you ask your wife about it and then start getting bothered — not because of how your wife might be feeling about all this, but because you feel threatened. Now, that said, I can’t picture my husband ever writing a letter like this. If his friend groped me, he’d be pissed at the friend, not jumping to “can I trust my wife??” There’s something off here with these two. Even if a community is a safe place to speak up, not everyone knows that or feels that. It’s a lot easier when you’re not in the position of actually saying something. And unless it’s actually played out, no one can really know for sure.Her are I used to be the only two people texting each other. She would invite me and later us to her house parties hosted by her male roommate. A few times her and I hung out.
And his description of her response when he brought this up was even more vague and gave no indication of what she was feeling. Was she upset? Was she talking about it conversationally? Was she being evasive or vague herself? It’s important to be honest with yourself and with her or you might be setting yourself up for heartache down the line. Most Read On the same day last August he resigned from a second company, ALS Trade, an IT wholesaler that he founded in March 2018. Postmortems were being carried out on Wednesday, West Midlands police said, as a cordon remained in place at both properties. I have a feeling now though that he's not going to drop it and that he's got me lined up to be a friend for his lonely wife. This is probably really mean of me, but I just don't want to. I'm working full time and I have a generally busy life, but also I just don't want the pressure of being the person who has to resolve this stranger's loneliness. I've only met her that once when he brought her out to meet me, but I have bumped into him loads of times as he's gone out to work, gardening or he's going for a run. I only ever see her sat at her living room window staring out. It feels like I've been earmarked to resolve the issue of her never going out.
This question comes from curiosity. How many women on here would need their husband to specifically ask how she felt about the situation before she would tell him? Recently I discovered that my girlfriend cheated on me. We have two kids together, one of whom is my stepchild. We’ve been together for three years and I have done my fair share of wrongs, such as cheat, lie, and call her names. I admit I wasn’t the best I could be. So she moved out, saying she didn’t know if she wanted to be with me or not, but the kids were still with me. But the night it happened, he just… stopped paying attention? She didn’t pull away immediately, but did she excuse herself from the conversation shortly after? That’s a pretty common response when women are uncomfortable, but don’t want to make a scene. I think the husband is simply concerned that his wife WASN’T more upset. And who knows — maybe she wasn’t? I suspect this also freaks hubby LW out as friend is a wee bit hotter than he is… We have a great marriage and I’ve never had a reason to not trust my wife, but I’m having a hard time getting over this. I’m also reluctant to see him again as I’m not sure how I might react if we happen to be in a similar situation.
In many ways I find it sad if women have gotten so used to men groping that they just ignore it. It is such a blatant disregard for personal space and personal boundaries. You can’t respect a person that you are groping, whether you are a man or a woman doing the groping. It is all about doing what you want in the moment with no concern for the other. I feel bad for any woman who thinks she has to stand there with her neighbors hand on her because she feels she can’t make a scene. He would be the one considered to be making a scene here so maybe it is a different outlook. It is one thing to go to a party where people swing because that’s what you want to do and another to go to a neighborhood party and find your neighbor groping you. But, in the spirit of honesty, I think relationship counselling might help you to work through your feelings and talk about where the marriage is heading.
My wife said she told me because she didn’t want me to find out in another way. I’d appreciate your advice. As the night continued, I did not see any more groping, but I wasn’t really looking. I seemed to forget about it, probably from more drinks. I want to very politely shut this down as I don't want to have to vaguely keep saying things like "work is full on at the moment" every time he brings it up because I think that's not going at stop him asking me, particularly when restrictions are lifted. I didn’t ask her how long he had his hand on her or if he had done this before; I suppose in hindsight I should have. We talked a bit more about it and chalked it up to alcohol, but in the past few days it’s been bothering me as I keep thinking about his hand on her and that he’s told her before that he thinks she’s hot. And this was the first time I’ve heard of it.
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