Autorė knygoje sudėjo skirtingas šeimas ir jų patirtis. Džiaugsmus, stiprybes, silpnumus ir nuoskaudas. Žavėjo jos pačios empatija ir žmogiškumas. Kiekvienoje istorijoje radau ir ją pačią, jai kylančius jausmus ir kūno pojūčius. Toks dalyvavimas sesijose pasirodė labai jautrus, pakeliantis, palaikantis ir kuriantis ryšį. I also found it awkward when she told clients 'what a wonderful son' he was. Perhaps that would work with some clients but for others, I feel there is a need for authenticity; after all, can any therapist honestly know whether a grown adult has been a 'wonderful son' from a few therapy sessions?

Kate: I like the idea though, of, like a 90 second feeling. I’m really into that. Like, I mean, I bet it feels like 5 hours. If I had, like, a stopwatch, though, for, like, shame, it would be a wonderful thing.. To be like, I’m just gonna give myself this many seconds and then see. Kita, vis dažniau knygose mane atrandanti tema yra karantinas! Ta universali pasaulio patirtis jos metu! Ir, tiesą pasakius, aš tarsi vis laukiau, ką psichologai tirs ir kalbės apie pandemijos įtakas ir poveikius. Ši dalis buvo labai įdomi, nors jai skirtas foninis, antraeilis dėmesys. 💛 We may not see our family, but they are still part of us, genetically, in our memories and our unconscious. We can never leave them, as we can a partner or a friendship.’ Kate: Yes, mormon survivalist. And she experienced a tremendous amount of physical and psychological abuse as a child. And we were talking about when people say of families, oh, they did their best. And I said, that drives me insane, as if we’ve sort of taken the survey. And we know that all 52 moms in this situation, quote, tried their best five on five, five stars. And and she said, oh, I actually I do say that. I say they tried their best and it was devastating. They tried their best and it was tragic. And I was frankly very moved by that. Like, how do we frame the the limits of empathy? maybe? This book is wonderful, wise and empathetic, so useful but also so beautifully written. . . . What I found really interesting is the sense of reciprocity, how Julia is engaged in the process of working with clients, changed by them and their stories, as we are by reading about them. Every family should have one, to consult in times of trouble.” —Gavanndra HodgeWhy do some families thrive in adversity while others fragment? How can families weather difficult transitions together? Why do our families drive us mad? And how can even small changes greatly improve our relationships? Samuel] excels at distilling shrewd insights from her subjects. . . . [Her] candor offers an unusually intimate look at how therapists work. . . . Covering a broad array of family structures and dilemmas, this quietly dazzling consideration of what it means to be a family is sure to resonate.” —Publishers Weekly Julia: Yeah. So it’s the same thing, but just keep going. Just keep going. Don’t ask for help. Don’t make a fuss. Don’t make me feel bad because your I can’t help you. Just glide past me so that I’m not, you know, demanded of or made to feel uncomfortable. But at the same time, you’re really lonely and chilly out there in that horse.

Kate: That’s such a that’s such a beautiful word for the person who feels like they are the bomb that goes off. They are the one who is bringing the trauma in the front door. And and nothing can solve it. Photographs of Kim Hawley and her father Jim Scherman. Hawley is the founder of Strength Through Story, an organization that helps birthing parents manage perinatal challenges through writing. Despite encouraging others to share their stories, Hawley hadn't done the same excavating within her family until interviewing her father for Life Kit. Julia: And that whole idea of being a soft skill is not. It’s really, really hard. And it is the only thing that matters, it’s the best medicine. Right. But it is not so scary. It requires. Yes. Unbelievable. Endurance, patience, fury, rage. You know. Because where you feel most you feel most. So if you have joy, one end of the bandwidth of love, you’re going to feel fury as well. You know, it’s wide it’s as big as a yes you get. Kate: When we’re trying to understand our bigger family web and maybe especially. Those in that system who have been unkind, maybe untrue, unfaithful. I mean, maybe the reason why we’re going to therapy in the first place. I wondered if I wonder if we could talk about the limits of this kind of empathy. Because I remember I had an interesting conversation with Tara Westover to remember her. She wrote that book, Educated. It’s this beautifulJulia Samuel brings her characteristic warmth, compassion and wisdom to the vital matter of how families function. She writes with unfailing grace, tenderness and consummate story-telling. Everyone who reads this will learn something profound—about themselves, their origins and the people they love most dearly.” —Dr. Rachel Clarke Kate: It sounds like there is a tremendous amount of possibility in learning to rewrite these stories.

If I recall correctly, this book was mentioned in Esther Perel's newsletter, and its title immediately caught my attention. This year, I've been delving into novels that explore the intricacies of family dynamics, so I felt it was the perfect time to explore a nonfiction book on the subject. It is how parents live, far more than what they say, that becomes embedded in their children. I have often witnessed parents saying to their children, ‘All I want is for you to be happy,’ but how would the child begin to know what ‘happy’ looks like if they haven’t seen it?’I wanted to look beneath the skin of some of these types of families to find out what went on and to ask questions: what is it that enables some families to thrive despite enormous adversity when others fragment? What predicts family breakdown? Why do our families drive us mad? Julia Samuel is so wise and compassionate. I love every word she writes and long for every reader—every person—to experience her unique and generous way of being in the world.” —Cathy Rentzenbrink Fascinating. . . . Julia Samuel’s compassionate work never fails to inform, comfort and make me think.” —Pandora Sykes Join Author and psychotherapist, Julia Samuels as she discusses her latest publication with psychoanalyst and Author, Stephen Grosz. Stodama į bakalauro studijas pirmoje vietoje įrašiau istoriją, antroje - psichologiją. Studijavau istoriją. Baigus trūko psichologijos, magistre pasirinkau dvasinį konsultavimą, kuriame 50/50 buvo religijos ir psichologijos. Bet vis grįžta mintys, kad gal dar kada tą gryną psichologiją pastudijuosiu. Nes aš tikiu sąmoningo būvimo gyvenime galia tą gyvenimą keisti. Ir dar, matyt, atėjusi iš nestabilios, skilusios šeimos, nešuos kraitelį su savim, tokį, kuris pačiai nepatinka, tokį, kurį vis reikia pakoreguot, pasitaisyt, patuštint, įdėt į jį naujų minčių ir elgesio modelių.