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YOU AND ME: A gripping psychological thriller with twists you won’t see coming

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I was a young child when FREE TO BE...YOU AND ME was first released. My elementary school even used songs from FREE TO BE...YOU AND ME for a spring concert. As I reviewed this book now, as an adult, I was still amazed that I could hum the tunes to the songs written as poems in the book. I found the examples from his practice quite helpful. I even agree with the premise that we need to get past you and me to build a better us. Kind of refreshing topic in a culture of me me me. I will soon turn 29 and I haven’t read the sisterhood series by Ann Brashares yet, I recently read The Last summer (of you and me) and I loved it (literally couldn’t put it down).

Billed as a psychological thriller with a twist ..... and I did keep hearing about this twist, it's a story of domestic violence and how one effectively bullies the other. Nothing really that different but it is a very readable book. Told in alternating chapter narratives we hear from the couple as they tell the story from their viewpoint. So, why didn't I love this more? At times it was a tad repetitive with a couple of lines being quoted time and time again about how one of them was going to make changes. An aspect concerning the Romanian businessman and his best friend felt a bit 'thrown into the mix' as a side story which to me didn't fit very well.

This details an abusive relationship and was reminiscent of Behind Closed Doors to me with a villain that made my skin crawl. Sal and Charlie are married and Sal stays at home with their daughter, Maggie while Charlie is a lawyer. Charlie is a monster and a controlling bully and has no respect for Sal and doesn’t think that staying at home with a child is worthwhile, however insists that Sal does it anyway. That’s just a taste of the type of horrid person Charlie is. Then they get together and spend the entire middle of the book having sex in various locations. His bed, her bed, the kitchen floor, the beach, a chair... Alice is an annoying girl who spends the entire book whining about her childhood friend Paul. Does he love me? No he doesn't love me. Wait DOES HE LOVE ME? No I don't think he loves me. The definition of “unputdownable” … Evocative, pacy and utterly gripping. I loved it’ Sara Collins, author of The Confessions of Frannie Langton

First, he identified his inner child’s adaptive strategies and pinpointed their root cause. Therapy can help during this stage, but it’s not a necessity. Grace and her sister had one of those pacts that they would put themselves out there for love by the time they reached 30. When Grace was still single and focused on her career, Hope convinced her to try Sight Unseen, the company she worked for, and she was matched with Sharp.

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Then something crucial happened. Dan was expecting to get in trouble – he hadn’t behaved perfectly. If his mom were still around, she would have been furious at him. But Julia is not Dan’s mom. She didn’t mind that he was late. In fact, she was thrilled he’d told the truth. Dan had what’s known as a corrective emotional experience. He’d always lied because he’d learned telling the truth led to a negative outcome. Julia’s positive reaction to his honesty helped him see how damaging and unhelpful his adaptive strategy had become. Although it served him well in childhood, in his warm, loving, adult relationship it just wasn’t needed. Within the culture of individualism and of patriarchy, you can be connected or you can be powerful—but you cannot be both at the same time. Remember that. Power is power over, not with, so you break the thread of mutual connection when you move into power. Dominance does not breed intimacy. In the gender binary of patriarchy, affiliation is “feminine” and power is “masculine.” Cooperation is nowhere in sight… First, resist hanging on to your core negative image of your partner. It’s a hop, skip, and a jump from “He is so insensitive” to the sentence construction that sends chills down a relationship therapist’s spine: “He always . . .” or “She never . . . .” Framing your partner’s behavior as permanent and unchangeable means you’ve given up on resolving conflicts even before they arise. We know immediately that this marriage is not a good one. Charlie is a corporate lawyer that works long hours and Sal stays home to take care of their daughter, Maggie. The solution to this problem is actually pretty simple. Tracey and Alex need to let go of the ego and start thinking about the eco – as in the ecology of their relationship. When you operate with an us-consciousness, you understand that your romantic relationship is a space where you both live. Poisoning that ecology with toxic behavior hurts you just as much as it hurts your partner. Of course, in our individualistically oriented society, shifting into us-consciousness is easier said than done. So here are a few more concrete tips.

PDF / EPUB File Name: You_and_Me_on_Vacation_-_Emily_Henry.pdf, You_and_Me_on_Vacation_-_Emily_Henry.epubI am quite angry. I say to Sal, 'Sal, I am quite angry at being in such a crappy book.' Sal just looks at me with Sal's tired eyes. I walked away from the book so hopeful, despite the fact that we live in a very toxic patriarchal and individualistic society that has us struggling to keep marriages and relationships afloat. They’re just not built to withstand this culture we live in. But Terry was able to provide guidance and insight on how we can thrive as a unit of “us”. Light bulbs kept going off and everything becomes so much more clearer. Us (2022) is for anyone whose once-loving relationship has devolved into point-scoring and power struggles. It offers a science-based skill set, illustrated with rich and detailed examples, to help you and your partner heal your toxic individualism and your relationship.

This book is a road map for all of us who seek true intimacy.”—GWYNETH PALTROW, founder and CEO of goop The events are either way too predictable or way too stupid (and unbelievable). Of course Charlie’s business deal isn’t going to happen. Of course the mysterious pathetic guy isn’t going to go away. Of course Alex is up to no good. And I don't buy that Charlie would meet with Alex in the first place. It’s not believable that the business guy didn’t get rid of the pathetic guy earlier, etc. etc. The big message of this book is basically this: don't be afraid to do your own thing. Unfortunately the book comes with the conceit that children don't have the will power to think for themselves or push boundaries. That's not been the case with most of the children I've met through my own two.Although I have already read a lot about trauma, I found the author’s discussion of relational trauma quite helpful, and I particularly appreciated his trauma grid. One of my favorite quotes from the book is when the author states, “I believe there’s no such thing as overreacting; it’s just that what someone is reacting to may no longer be what’s in front of them.” The lone genius at work in her studio. The tech whiz kid who took Silicon Valley by storm. The self-made millionaire who rose to the top of her industry without any help. Contemporary society valorizes the individual and their achievements. But in many ways, this individualism is toxic. On a broad level, thinking of ourselves as individuals rather than people who are networked within a community creates division and estrangement from the world we live in. On a more intimate level, it can also cause lasting damage to our relationships.

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