This Isn't Going to End Well: The True Story of a Man I Thought I Knew

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Reading through his brother-in-law’s papers helps Wallace crystalize both his admiration of the self that Nealy chose to show the world and his bewilderment over the one Nealy hid. Wallace recalls how much he admired Nealy’s handwriting and had tried to mimic it. “I copied him, but not syntactically, or in his style, the way I would later try to copy Carver or Malamud or Cheever: I wanted to write with the literal shapes of the letters he made.” But beneath the letters, Nealy’s “shadow life” emerges. He sees how Nealy was drawn “inescapably inward, and there was almost nothing good for him to see in there,” making his suicide seem like almost an inevitable conclusion. “[T]he question isn’t why he killed himself,” Wallace reflects. “The question is why did it take him so long? His journals must be the longest suicide note in the history of the world.” Lastly two. I am surprised by how annoyed I am that the writer did not follow through with his sister's wishes on her deathbed because he became angry at his brother-in-law. His actions felt like those of a scorned lover rather than a brother-in-law who should have, at the top of his mind, his sister's last directions.

This Isn't Going to End Welloutlines the complicated, tender truth about one mythical man.”— The Atlanta Journal-Constitution The man was unbelievably cool, standing on the roof about to jump into the Wallace family’s swimming pool. Such an act was dangerous, forbidden, but utterly breathtaking. Later, Daniel learned he was William Nealy, his older sister’s latest boyfriend. Lastly, I have to express some astonishment that a writer older than me is surprised that a man was not who he thought he was. If you dig deep enough, no one is. This brilliantly layered book is about what calls us to write, create, dance and even destroy those we love. What began as Daniel Wallace’s story became my story, too – the writer who lives “in that place between experience and understanding” and is compelled to touch bone regardless of the pain. I love this book. This Isn’t Going to End Well ended too soon -- and like all great ghost stories I want to read it again.”— Terry Tempest Williams, author of Erosion – Essays of Undoing Unflinching’ is a word publishers like to use to describe memoirs. This Isn’t Going to End Well deserves the description as Mr. Wallace grapples with the past. It sounds like a heavy read, but it’s almost deceptively easy… Masterly.”— Wall Street JournalOf course we want to see Israel safe, peaceful and secure,” he says in an interview, but there is no indication from Hamas that they would accept or abide by a ceasefire. Just as a working example, I'd want a platoon (i.e. three eight-man section + command) to confidently and ' safely' take an average detached house with its garage and shed; yes you read that right, one house. Now extrapolate that to an urbanised area the size of the Isle of Wight. Of course, the job could be done with fewer men, but you'd be placing them at much greater risk.* Add to that the fact I know people here and elsewhere who, if the situation really demanded it, would be on the next plane to Israel - and not all of them are Jewish. No idea how many there are globally who would do the same, but I'd be surprised if it was much less that 100k in total, probably many more. A memoir wrapped in an elegy… [that] maps a strangely stunning life… [Wallace] imbues this chronicle with tremendous compassion — for William, for everyone. This Isn’t Going to End Well gives off the particular radiance of a life lived hard, whatever else: as such, a brand of American bildungsroman. There’s deep satisfaction to its arc, despite its inherent sadness — a wondrous glimpse of the melding, in human doings, of fate, character and serendipity.” ― Washington Post In This Isn't Going to End Well, you will find the expected Daniel Wallace clarity, humor, and precision. But you will not find fiction. This is a true story about Daniel himself and his wild-man mentor and relative, William Nealy. Few writers can so seamlessly thread together love, loss, admiration, fear, pain, and hope. And this narrative is not traditional memoir-fare. It moves magically—unlike any traditional genre you’ve ever read. At times I experienced that thrill-feeling of a roller coaster dropping away from beneath me. This book is a rare gem gift from one of our very best writers.”— Clyde Edgerton, author of Raney

Daniel Wallace’s new book, “This Isn’t Going to End Well,” is a eulogy, a cautionary tale, a love letter and a sob of anger. In exploring his own particularly complicated grief, Wallace reveals his coming of age as a writer, the tragic yet inspiring life of his sister Holly, and a cast of larger-than-life characters as beguiling as any of his fictional inventions… Moving and unforgettable.”— Chapter16 indians shouldn’t burn their daughters any more because it’s illegal Russians shouldn’t kill civilians anymore either because that’s illegal.Gripping… A story about the difference between the person we present to the world and the person we really are. It’s the gap between those two versions of ourselves that Wallace mines in this warts-and-all love letter to male friendship.”— Atlanta Journal-Constitution

His work has been published in over two dozen languages, and his stories, novels and non-fiction essays are taught in high schools and colleges throughout this country. His illustrations have appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Italian Vanity Fair, and many other magazines and books, including Pep Talks, Warnings, and Screeds: Indispensible Wisdom and Cautionary Advice for Writers, by George Singleton, and Adventures in Pen Land: One Writer's Journey from Inklings to Ink, by Marianne Gingher. Big Fish was made into a motion picture of the same name by Tim Burton in 2003, a film in which the author plays the part of a professor at Auburn University. I would be astonished if the vast majority of Russian forces in Ukraine have even a nodding acquaintanceship with the laws that in theory apply to them, and ditto the Palestinians. Having lost someone to suicide, I do know it's painful. But I also know that many live with inner demons that urge them to take action. And sometimes those demons are not on the inside. Neither here nor there but compassion is something all humans have, or should have, inside. Suicidal people don't care how much they're going to be missed; they just want to end a pain that feels all-encompassing.***A couple of blokes on a US military forum who are, I guess, Jewish and have just been called up inside Israel are claiming that some quite horrific things have been done by Hamas. It has been reported in the mainstream media that Hamas killed whole families, including infants. These fellows are claiming that the bodies, including the babies were pretty nastily mutilated. Yes there are rules / laws and what have you which are supposed to govern conflicts of whatever size and type. But... outside of the democracies, these are merely given lip-service; inside the democracies they are always generally adhered to, sometimes completely. Caveat: I have not nor will I finish this book. I'm 3/4 of the way through, maybe more, but the reading for me is challenging because my opinions/experience/feelings are not changing. And, unfortunately, I'm frankly bored. Maybe there's something titillating as a reviewer suggested, but if it hasn't occurred by this point, it's moot. In THIS ISN’T GOING TO END WELL, Daniel Wallace (BIG FISH) scours his memory, letters, and William’s journal to make sense of something senseless, in the process learning about parts of William that were secreted under layers of defenses. The result is a searing, beautiful memoir about the author and the larger-than-life character who influenced him so greatly. It’s a vulnerable and revealing portrait of male friendship and the complicated mix of grief and anger that coexist after a loved one dies by suicide.

Wallace’s book isn’t as much about Nealy’s life as his own. Seven years younger than Nealy, Wallace hero-worshipped his future brother-in-law, following his example through acts of adolescent defiance, daredevil adventures and forays into alcohol and drugs. In a scene that resurfaces throughout the book, Wallace recalls, at age twelve, watching Nealy jump twenty-five feet off the roof of his family’s house into a swimming pool. “Jumping off roofs was something you did but didn’t talk about having done, because that wasn’t why you did it.” Nealy’s rashness leads to more death-defying stunts on rivers, creating “a blueprint for the kind of life he wanted to live: that a day not spent close to Death, preferably on or near the water, was a day lost forever.” Holly was Daniel's sister and William's soulmate. Holly and Nealy were a pair, like a cup and a saucer. She suffered from debilitating arthritis, and he was her hero, her caregiver, her lover. Nealy saw what was troubling everyone else, but evidently no one saw what was really troubling him. Was he ultimately left to drift alone? This book honors William's memory, including his search for justice for his friend Edgar. It is written with so much warmth and honesty, that it cannot fail to touch your heart as you learn what possibly led to his untimely death. Tenderly written by a man who loved him, was influenced by him, and perhaps shaped by him, the book brings to life this fallen hero that few recognized as someone also in need. He did not reveal his own troubled, private thoughts, but instead created an external persona which was that of a brave man of many talents who could do anything he set his mind to do. His brief life had a tragic ending instead of a hero’s welcome because he lived a double life, one private and one public. Wallace] crafts a compelling narrative that pulls the reader headlong into a story whose energy never wanes. He’s thoughtful and thought-provoking... and he writes with courage and candor… [This Isn’t Going to End Well] is a memoir borne of intense experience and introspection, which is the only available panacea for what troubles us.”— PineStraw MagazineBut when William took his own life at age forty eight, Daniel’s heartbreak led him to commit a grievous act of his own, a betrayal that took him down a path into the tortured recesses of William’s past. Eventually a new picture emerged of a man with too many secrets and too much shame to bear. You say Judaism is an ethnicity but I don’t think you’d get an Israeli passport if you weren’t a practicing one. I doubt they’d let you in on the basis of ‘Well Abraham was one of my ancestors but I don’t know the books of the Torah’ . I don’t understand how a religion can be an Ethnicity. Surely you can choose not to be Jewish and who’d know and after 1500 years elsewhere how they work it out. Still there are things even I don’t understand. The afterword indicates that Wallace did a huge number of interviews about William's life with all kinds of folks, but they mostly didn't get quoted. It's hard to say what contributions they made, except for in the one chapter where William is convinced that this one rando murdered his friend. Then you saw a bit more input from others.