She smiles compassionately. “You need a good, hot meal. You need a shower. You’ll feel better then.”

I hear the opening of a pizza box and a groan as the stench of rotting cheese and sausage drifts from the container. “Not exactly the diet of someone with the flu, Little Brother.” So, I see her beginning to smile when, in a small voice that I don’t even recognize, I say, “She’s marrying someone else. She didn’t…she didn’t want me, Lex.” And no girl wants to be called by the wrong name when she’s on her knees giving you head in the men’s room. So, just to be safe, I went with baby. I don’t answer her. I don’t have the energy. I just leave the door open and fall face first onto my couch. It’s soft and warm, but firm.But I told her it would never happen—it wasn’t what I wanted. Why bring a book to the library? Why bring sand to the beach? Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: girl meets player, they fall in love, player changes his ways.

That being said, there were some unexpected incidents in Vegas last weekend that could have been a problem. It was kind of... my final test. I get that it's about high school aged people, so maybe high school aged people would relate better but holy drama, Batman. I was VERY dramatic after being dumped (and cheated on) by my first boyfriend in high school. But even I wasn't sitting there going on and on about how worthless I am and nobody should want me. If I were her friend in any capacity, I'd probably slap her on a regular basis. DO YOU SEE THAT UNSHOWERED, unshaven heap on the couch? The guy in the dirty gray T-shirt and ripped sweatpants? When I say the word bitch I mean it in the most affectionate way possible, I swear. But it’s what she is. Demanding, opinionated, relentless. I’m going to kill my doorman. I feel like a lot of younger Wattpad authors are projecting - they wish they could be doing those things, so they create a (same-aged) version of themselves as a heroine who does all those things. Mary Sue anyone? Look, I was a teenage girl once. I get it. You want to be older than you are. You want to be a part of a world that looks so exciting. You insist that you're more mature than you are. Maybe you are mature. Are you adult-biker-hookup mature? Are you living-on-your-own-without parents-mature? You are not, I'm telling you (that was a fever dream for sure). And I'm not saying that the author is a teenager, although it's possible she wrote or thought the story up while a teenager. But that's how it reads. Make the characters a few years older. There's a world of difference between an 18-year-old high school senior and a 22-year-old college student. The college student is still immature, but they'recloser to being on their own and living an adult life and it shows in the choices that are legitimately available to them.

Originally published in the sizzling anthology Baby, It’s Cold Outside, this irresistible novella is the perfect holiday treat! Drew.” She shakes my shoulders gently. I give in and sit up, rubbing the exhaustion from my eyes as I do. “Talk to me,” she begs. “What’s going on? What happened?” For most of my life, I never imagined I’d get married. But Kate did the impossible: she changed me. I think we can all agree I was pretty frigging awesome before, but now I’m even better. I know what you’re thinking—what the hell did you do this time? Relax. Let’s not judge, or call for my castration, until you've heard the whole story. But here’s a fact for you—once I’m done, I’m done. I’m not the kind of guy who rides the same rollercoaster twice. Once is enough, and then the thrill is gone and so is the interest.