Parsnips, Buttered: Winner of the Comedy Game Changer Award

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You’ve probably heard that carrots are good for the skin and eyes, but you might not have learned how carrots are nourishing for the liver and blood. Older parsnips with a softer skin and those with a waxy coating should be peeled thinly. Some can have a tough, fibrous core which is chewy to eat, so is best cut out and discarded.

Parsnips with splits and long thin roots (measuring millimetres in width), can have a tough woody texture with pithy centres. How long do parsnips keep for? Nigel Rees, in Oops, Pardon Mrs Arden!, quotes a stanza from Epigrammes of 1651 by a Thames waterman known as the Water Poet, John Taylor: Put the parsnips in a roasting tin, then rub them with olive oil. Season with salt and pepper and roast for 20 minutes.Also, do not overcrowd the pan. The pieces should ideally have a little bit of room in the sides so the steam can escape while cooking, thus letting the pieces brown better.

It’s not the best-known phrase on which to base your book title, but Joe Lycett is clearly trying to disprove the aphorism ‘fine words butter no parsnips’ by using mischievous missives to challenge the system.

You’ll see that with both carrots and parsnips, the sweet taste predominates. So don’t be scared of the other flavors. Roast for 35 to 40 minutes until golden and soft in the middle, regularly basting them in the hot fat throughout.