It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

Product Information

It is entirely possible for you to have compassion for the awful stuff in your family and not hold it tight and own it as yours and still decide that it is not healthy for you to have a relationship with the person who hurt you.

I’m a therapist and read a lot of self help books and this is probably the worst one I’ve ever read. It Didn’t Start With You is the first book of its kind to offer step-by-step guidance to help people break the cycle of destructive inherited family patterns. The author points to "empirical evidence" in support of his assertions that are either not empirical at all, or that conclude something not quite relevant for the author's assertion. The idea is to steal traction away from the highly efficient trauma cycle that keeps us in a state of suffering, and engage other areas of the brain.

Es obvio que no se puede hacer nada para cambiar lo que sucedió en el pasado o poder mandar sobre los sentimientos de otros, pero desde el interior cada uno puede hacer ese proceso de reconocimiento, perdón para ser liberados y capacidad de estar en paz consigo mismo, sin ansiedad como es mi caso. Mind you that not everyone can fix or wants to "fix" the relationship with their parents, especially if there's severe abuse involved.

Sebebi belirsiz olumsuz duygularımızın kökeni bilimsel olarak epigenetiğe bağlanıyorsa, bu duyguların olumlu yönde dönüştürülmesi işi de bir şekilde epigenetiğe bağlanmamalı mı diye soruyor insan.All his patients could not be healed in any other institutions, but once they stepped into his room, bam! The author oversimplifies and makes unfounded, unscientific extrapolations on the current science behind epigenetic inheritance. If you visit a therapist and don't feel at least some relief after several sessions, try a different therapist. But, the authors insistence on reconciling with parents is frankly, toxic, especially to victims of abuse. Mark Wolynn’s extraordinary book cracks the secret code of families and proves that you can go home again—once you understand how history made you.

The first red flag was when the author wanted the reader to believe that someone experienced residual trauma because an uncle (not even a direct patrilineal carrier of their DNA) froze to death. HOWEVER, big HOWEVER, NO conclusions were taken from this study the way the author wants to: it doesn’t LINK our mental illness to a relative's or DERIVES any sort of treatment such as making peace with past abusers. Sıradan bir okur olarak diğer insanların özellikle de psikoloji eğitimi almış kişilerin bu kitapla ilgili neler düşündüklerini de merak ettim. An excellent book on intergenerational trauma--although I suspect a lot of the same principles apply to inherited values and joys.

A través de esta lectura pude encontrar palabras para darle sentido a sentimientos e ideas atoradas o que no había sido consciente de su existencia, permitiendo que brotaran; con este ejercicio me doy cuenta que el regalo más grande para nuestra especie es el lenguaje: Igualmente como si fuera siguiendo un camino de migas de pan, descubrí el momento cuando me desconecte de mi cuerpo para no sentir dolor, entonces es allí donde debo reiniciar esta reparación, por decirlo de alguna manera. After reading IT DIDN’T START WITH YOU, I found myself immediately being able to apply Mark Wolynn’s techniques with my patients, and saw incredible results in a shorter time than by using traditional psychotherapeutic techniques. I've gotten about halfway, and may finish just for kicks and giggles, but within the first 10% of the book, Wolynn draws a wholly unscientific and even anecdotally-sketchy conclusion regarding the accidental death of the uncle of one of his patients-- an uncle who passed before the patient was born, making it impossible for that "trauma" to have been passed from the uncle to the nephew in any way (not to mention the fact that there is no direct genetic connection there).