Find her in the PBS documentary Speaking Grief, and in the new podcast, Here After with Megan Devine. Thank you, Megan Devine, for being so thoughtful, and for sharing your pain and your ongoing journey on this road which no one wants to walk, but which is nevertheless crowded with people who need the comforting you offer. Watch the documentary The Wisdom of Trauma exploring Gabor Maté’s work to understand the connection between illness, addiction, trauma, and society. This book made me paranoid I can never say the right thing-no matter what I say is a cliche, has a hidden psychological meaning, or is in some other way wrong.

The book acknowledges that grief takes you over and carries you along like floodwaters and that there is little you can do about it, but it helps you do what little you can and gradually build up on these efforts to find a measure of peace. This was a helpful and comforting book in many ways, but I have to admit I was really offended by Devine’s grief hierarchy in the beginning. There was far too much emphasis on how your friends, family etc get it wrong, eg, saying the wrong things, avoidance, tactlessness etc. This is where the book and I part company as the ‘different, but not better’ message becomes ‘different and happy ever after”.It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better. This book is different from your normal self-help guides; it touches on the side of grief we don’t always want to face. Fear takes over in the people around you because they know it could happen to them, and they don’t want to think about that, it’s too painful. It hasn't made things easier, my grief is still the heavy immovable object it was before, but I feel seen, understood.

She also offers practical suggestions related to coping with stress and anxiety that may stem from grief. This is a book for people experiencing grief so why exclude people who don’t fit her definition of deserving to grieve? Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to “solve” grief. In this special two-part episode, we face the new year together - with special guest, historian, author, and queen of awkward conversations, Kate Bowler.

The main highlights of this book include what to say and what not to say to those in the grieving process. But I wish she hadn’t focused so much on accidental deaths because it felt like the rest of us, experiencing “expected” deaths, should just move on already.

Thank you to Netgalley for my ARC, I will be recommending this book to other family members who are also struggling to make sense of their own grief. This is best suited for people dealing with grief themself or someone who is trying to get ressources on how to help/support a grieving person. Megan is a licensed psychotherapist, and a member of the California Association for Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors.

It's OK That You're Not OK is the perfect how-to manual to help heal and support ourselves, each other, and our death-avoidant society. Mark has been interviewed twice by Oprah Winfrey as part of her Soul Series radio show, and was interviewed by Robin Roberts on Good Morning America. He is the host of the PBS television series America Outdoors with Baratunde Thurston, creator and host of How To Citizen with Baratunde, and a founding partner of the new media startup Puck.