Amelie’s journey, ‘the dots on the map where you made me cry’, is self-destructive at points as she believes that she is ‘sure it’s all my fault somehow’ and if ‘only I’d done things differently’ and ‘been…less me, then I wouldn’t have driven you away’. This confusion and misconstrued belief that Amelie is somehow at fault for the destructive relationship, is so powerful, sad and infuriating that as a reader, you want to reach into the book and help her to see that it is not her, but Reese and no one should ever be ‘…less me’. Alfie was consistent, and, because of that, I wasn't crazy. I was calm, I was chill - I was all the things you wanted me to be, Reese. But I was incapable of being those things with you. The more you wanted me to be that "chill" girl - the more you made it clear that your love for me depended on it - the less chill and more crazy I got. Because you weren't consistent.

lastly, i just need to mention the writing. if i'll ever write a book i want to be able to write like that, so effortlessly, seamlessly, intimately and beautifully. When her dad is made redundant, their family is uprooted from Sheffield to the South of England, meaning Amelie leaves her friends, and boyfriend behind. She and Alfie have an agreement, they’ll meet again at university but in the meantime, they are free to live their lives apart. But this story isn’t about Alfie, the boy who is there as an example of a healthy relationship.

Trigger warnings in this book for discussion and depictions of emotional and sexual abuse by a boyfriend. Nothing that incriminating, of course. Nothing that couldn't be shushed away with a "you're too sensitive/needy/clingy/crazy". But damaging, nonetheless. Who are you going to trust? The calm boy whose voice doesn't wobble, who can explain reasonably and using examples, why everything is fine-- or the crying girl saying she can feel something is wrong? The scenes in the book with the therapist are moving and informative, as this is where the reader gets an insight about how trauma bonds work and why the love of those who abuse is so addictive. Through Amelie's journey, we discover that she isn't just emotionally abused, she is also physically abused but the author doesn't focus on the physical. Instead, she raises the signs of the emotional abuse as this is often harder to notice and can in some circumstances have an even worst effect.

Reading it in my perspective, at first it seemed so shallow, so irrelev If I were to make a playlist for this book it would be I knew you were trouble over and over and OVER AGAIN. A new college. A new city and that is when she meets Hannah-who gets the best friend of the year award-on the very first day and makes a friend. Holly Bourne has articulated something I've never had the ability to do myself and when I read the last chapter I cried out of relief that someone else had voiced this with so much respect.All in all, it is a book I recommend. It's important and it has value and it's something everyone needs to be aware off.

A very well done and important book, please be warned that this book does contain Trigger Warning, and if you would like me to tell them to you my inbox is always open.The only reason this isn’t a whooping 5-stars is because this was still quite a difficult read at times, because of the themes of the story. Still 200% recommending this, if you can handle the trigger warnings. You are looking for a piece of honest, no-nonsense teen literature that will empower students, make them feel like they are not alone and help them make healthy, confident decisions. This moving book, published by Usborne, frankly explores what love is and, crucially, what it isn’t. It’s written by Holly Bourne, a bestselling author, relationship advisor and passionate mental health advocate. The trademark heartbreaking Holly Bourne moment I’ve come to expect near the climax of every book happens here too, of course, when Amelie visits her old friends in Sheffield and Everything Goes Horribly Wrong. One reason I read these books so fast is simply because I need to get through them as fast as possible, like ripping off a band-aid, because these are emotionally draining books. And yes, Amelie certainly makes mistakes—she is, like all of us, flawed on top of being young and inexperienced in these things, and I appreciate that we get lots of facets of her character. She screws up bad with Alfie; she gets her former best friend upset … it’s a whole thing. There are a few other details that really make this book stand out. The Nottinghill Carnival takes central stage in this story about families, memories and the power of dance and festivals. Author Yaba Badoe tells...

Girls cry on park benches. Girls cry in train station waiting-rooms. They cry on the dance floor of clubs. Something I also really appreciated in this story, was how therapy is shown in a positive light. How Amelie figures out, by herself and, as she starts therapy, with conversations with her therapist, the issues in her previous relationship and slowly goes down that recovery road. In this story of hope and endurance, we follow a scientist and her team during their search for the elusive 'Giant Arctic Jellyfish'. On that note, I did have a rather love-hate relationship with the author’s writing style. I loved the touches of British slang and humour that I miss in a lot of the American YA that I read, but one of my pet peeves is when dialogue or angry thoughts are written in all capitals. It’s such a minor thing, but wow it grinds my gears and loses so much of the impact for me. I also find lyrics for fictional songs in books so jarring. I don’t know why but it makes me uncomfortable. Lyric writing and novel writing are two very different things so I find it awkward when a character gets told that she’s an amazing lyricist, but then we read the lyrics and they’re actually not that great. It’s just awkward to me. But these are such minor things in context of the novel.

Look, if you’re coming to this book for suspense or surprise, you will not find it. The plot is utterly predictable, even without Amelie’s very overt foreshadowing mentioning red flags and the end of friendships, etc. That’s the point: Bourne is preparing us for the emotional journey ahead by giving us the framework of the narrative journey. This isn’t about trying to figure out what will happen, how it will end, etc. It’s a story about Amelie coming to terms with this huge thing that happened to her.