Perhaps it’s trite to say that “representation matters,” but some things are cliché because they’re true. The first time I ever saw lesbians onscreen was when my high school’s Gay Bisexual Straight Alliance played part of the first scene of the original L Word series. (The “sweet little figs” scene, in case you were wondering—the girls who get it get it.) Even so, it wasn’t until years later, when I first saw Blue Is the Warmest Color , that I actually found a queer story that reminded me of my own.

We’ll start by taking you through your options of becoming a lesbian mom and then talk through some ways to navigate being one.As if the task of parenting weren’t challenging enough, this means that being a lesbian mom may come with its fair share of preaching and teaching. In conclusion, everything is precisely as it should be. And seriously, Millennials, don’t be embarrassed of your search terms. For what it’s worth, all porn search terms are mortifying. If your porn search history were ever exposed, it would be at least as bad as your Google search history. What does a non-embarrassing porn search history even look like? Like this, maybe: One of the inevitable parts about being a lesbian mom is that you’re going to get a lot of ridiculous questions ‒ some will make you giggle, and others will make you fume. Dudes still have the monopoly on porn at 76 percent of PH’s viewers, while women make up that other 24 percent, and I’m sure feel very bad about it. Monday, fun day! The most popular day of the week for 18-to-34 year olds to watch porn is Monday. I believe—through sheer, un-researched and unfounded speculation—that this is because you have the worst sex of your life between the ages of 18 and 34, and that most of that bad sex happens on the weekend. So come Monday, come. Like you know you need to. It’s basic self-care.

Being a lesbian mom means navigating a unique set of challenges and joys. Knowing every journey is different, here is some of what you might expect.And, if you need this study in your toolbox to ward off the naysayers, sexual orientation does not affect the outcome of fertility treatments with donated sperm. Millennials watch most of their porn between the twitching hour of 11 p.m. and midnight, whereas old people, obviously, need that sleep to live. If you go with someone you know, it’s a good idea to consult an attorney to ensure that you have all parental rights outlined from the outset. If you opt for an anonymous donor, you won’t know who the person is, but you will be given information on certain key characteristics, like their family history and appearance. You have the choice between a known sperm donor ‒ a friend or family member ‒ or an anonymous sperm donor, who you would find through a sperm bank.

Also, if you run into any hurtful language, we feel you. It’s time to get rid of the terms that have caused pain rather than provide care. If you need cheat notes, head here for an overview of 79 scholarly articles that all agree that queer parenting does not harm children in any way. Not only that, children of LGBTQIA+ parents appear to do better in school.)Millennials reach the promise land of orgasm one minute and five seconds sooner than older generations, who, it’s safe to say, just need some time, okay? And queer parenting often means running into a whole lot of uncalled-for judgment around your child’s well-being.