I now have a better understanding of codependent behavior, and this book has not only verified what I believed, it has also allowed me to check myself for codependent behaviors. Many times while reading, I found myself getting frustrated with this back and forth; there really wasn't any real help given to "stop doing the thing", save for just not doing it, or participating in a twelve-step program. If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book. I followed the book as closely as possible, worked through the activities and realized that I was making mistakes too, and with the help of this book I can work on fixing my problems.

Kaip gelbėtojo, persekiotojo ir aukos vaidmenys susiję viens su kitu ir nuolat keičiasi, tu gelbsti kitą, tada pradedi jaustis auka, tada imi persekioti tą žmogų, tada jis tampa auka, tada tu jį gelbsti.I'm going to give it a 3 at this point, as I do think there are some really good insights that I felt were beneficial. The book, which is geared towards family members of alcoholics, clarifies a lot of these unhealthy behaviors and gives tips on how to be self-aware and how to manage our emotions, which I find to be helpful, even if it's not groundbreaking scientific work or whatever.

Chapter 2: Detaching from the problem person in your life can give you clarity about your own needs. I didn't completely like the religious angles that much, though they will be good for some people, and at times it seemed as though there was an awfully large umbrella for which people could be defined as codependent. Norint iš viso to išsikrapštyti, jos pagrindinis patarimas yra maždaug toks, kaip patariama gelbstint skęstantį žmogų: jei jus abu bloškia į kokią uolą ar atramą, plaukiantysis turi prisidengti skęstančiuoju, t. Much of this book references alcoholism (people often develop codependent behaviors in response to having an addict in their lives), and while that is not what brought about my codependent behaviors, I still found this book to be really helpful.

I realized that I can make decisions and not have to worry if my opinion is what other people may think or want. I have been more involved with Buddhist practice and philosophy in my life, though I only really got into that when I found a Teacher who was as equally interested and engaged as I was with recognising what all Faith systems share. We adopt a policy of keeping our hands off other people's rsponsibilities and tend to our own instead. My criticisms would be that it seems very dated in places, and she does like to use the word "God" when I would've preferred her to use Higher Power, however, that should not diminish the significance or importance of this book.

Taking responsibility for ourselves can sound rather daunting, but it doesn’t have to happen all at once. I thought, maybe if I am a better reader, it will be a happier book and then all my dreams will come true. In time, you’ll learn to better cope with your problems, trust yourself, and actually begin to feel your own feelings instead of someone else’s. The cultural phenomenon that has helped heal millions of readers, this modern classic holds the key to understanding codependency and unlocking its hold on your life.

So grateful to have this book recommended to me - and I highly recommend it to all the fixers, people pleasers, and tired caregivers looking for better balance!

Melody's compassionate and insightful look into co-dependency -- the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another -- struck a universal chord among families struggling with a loved one's addiction. When the author said she didn't come at this from a scientific background I was willing to overlook that until she got to the traits of codependency.The bottom-line is most people can probably benefit from this book, and you (thankfully) don't have to be an addict or the spouse of an addict to find meaning in it. It's pretty amazing for anyone who has struggled to figure out why they often put others first but feel guilty taking care of themselves. I found that I got to learn more about myself and others in my life but that I was severely lacking in a codependent support group near where I live.