However, it served as a good reminder to review some things again with great points, but honestly, I stopped about 3/4 of the way through because I was just ready to be done with it. Book Genre: Health, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Relationships, Self Help In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert and clinical psychologist, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. again, it isn't a miracle, i'm not suddenly Better. but this changed so much for me and i really truly cannot be more grateful for this book. it feels like a real concrete step in my healing process. A friend recommended this book to me and it was definitely a good one. For most of my life, I had been "conditioned" to be the "nice guy," always thinking it was better to just avoid conflicts whenever possible. After reading this book, my view of both myself and the world really changed. Rather than shy away from conflicts, we should embrace them. Rather than "cover up" how we're feeling, we should just let it out. We care way too much about what other people think of us. Honestly, it's more honest to be direct with your feelings; trying to cover up how you feel is manipulative.

That’s how I feel about a lot of self-help and business books at this point – unless they are super niched and tactical, they are all too similar to keep my interest.People will always have something to say about you. Even if you are the nicest person on earth (nice people already know this!) This book as made me incredibly assertive, REALLY spiked my confidence, lowered my anxiety, and even lessened my stuttering. And it goes away more and more every day. All in all we are definitely being manipulated on daily basis under the magical spell of BE NICE and NOT NICE book is a legitimate way to break the spell I'm going to fight my urge to be nice to critique this book. I will say the nice things first--I thought the exercises toward the beginning of the book were really useful and helpful. Especially the one about writing down all the rules that you've made for yourself that you feel bad about breaking and the one about trying to figure out exactly what you like and want. Ok. The not nice...

You’ll start to see that there is no threat in the disapproval of others, which allows you to relax in a deep and powerful way. You’ll also see that being in healthy relationships with others is not at all like walking on a tightrope. It’s actually more like a five-lane freeway. You can veer left, right, and all over the place, and still stay connected. If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say “no” to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness. I hear about your mom, and your brother, and your dad. I hear about everyone else and what they want. But I don’t hear much of you in the story. It’s like you’re a minor character, and your needs and wants don’t really count for much.” It’s good to discover what I want It’s good to ask for what I want. It’s good to say what I want. It’s good to say what I don’t want. It’s good to be able to put myself first." This was like WOW! I am personally a very empathic person and would usually care that other people are feeling great in my presence. However this resonated with me because people’s choices to feel good or bad is like I said A CHOICE, that I have nothing to do with.In fact, the quality of your life depends on how many of these uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have." here's what this book is not: it isn't a miracle. it's not going to fix you or your life. it isn't an intellectual, research-filled data oriented book about psychology. it doesn't hold the secrets of the universe and it won't give you all the answers you're looking for. and it certainly isn't going to do all the work for you.

i didn't realize until getting about halfway through this book that so much of my internal rulebook is full of lies. lies told to me by myself, by society, by my parents. i've been suffocated by my past selves and my past hurts and realizing all of this felt like waking up from a long sleep. through the authors words i started to piece together things about my life that i never would have realized otherwise. i have spent a large portion of my life worrying that i'm too selfish, but after reading this book i am now more fully aware that i'm not selfish enough. i just kept having realization after realization and even though i'm still trying to process everything, i feel so incredibly inspired and invigorated.You cannot stop others from feeling all discomfort, or all pain. It is an impossible task, a fool’s errand." I have the right to share my perspective, even if someone might disagree or temporarily be uncomfortable.

Full Book Name: Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, and Feeling Guilty… And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being YourselfHesitation: You often wait for the “right thing” to say (and thus speak way less than you normally do). I have the right to choose how much I want to see a friend or someone I’m dating, and end the relationship if it does not feel desirable to me. I have the right to say yes to having sex, to enjoy sex, and to pause during sex to have a conversation. If you struggle with telling people no (I do sometimes), speaking your mind (I’ve never had this problem), or asking for things (this is a biggie for me), then you will like this book.