He put the crisps on his head because the barman had no pies. If he had pies then he would have put the pie on his head.What a horrendous joke Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. Joe Robinson Crusoe – a thinly disguised parody of flamboyant Newcastle pub and nightclub operator Joe Robertson.

The following is a list of recurring or notable one-off strips from the British adult spoof comic magazine Viz. This list is by no means complete as with each issue new characters/strips/stories are introduced. This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me.'” There’s only one thing I can’t do that white people can do, and that’s play pranks at international airports.” Nish Kumar (2014) Bad Girl Ballet Borstal at the Bottom of the Sea – A girl is sent to an underwater borstal and forced to do ballet lessons all day. She discovers that the establishment is part of an elaborate scheme to send the borstal inmates to a zoo as food for tigers. The girl attempts to raise the alarm, but is trapped by the homicidal ghost of Rudolf Nureyev, with the strip abruptly ending on an explanation that had it continued she would have been miraculously rescued by police in a submarine.What is even worse than waking up after a party and finding a pen*s was drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced. The Bottom Inspectors – based on the traffic wardens of Newcastle. [2] The Bottom Inspectors were also influenced by a single editorial comment made by John Brown, the original publisher of Viz Comic: "The only editorial comment I ever made", explains Brown, "was in the early days, when I told Chris that I thought one issue was particularly 'bottomy'. He didn't say much at the time, but The Bottom Inspectors appeared for the first time in the next issue." [3] Considerable overtones of Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-four as well as more than a hint of the Nazis (their ranks sound very Nazi: 'Herr Oberbottomführer!', etc.). My mate is called Liam, but we call him ‘Two Legs Liam’. The reason for that is because he only has one arm.” Andrew Ryan (2016) Bassey Come Home – in which a young boy who lives on a farm has Shirley Bassey as a pet, and must fight to keep her from being sold when the farm falls on hard times.

The Adventures of Jeremy Clarkson, the Petrolhead Motormouth – One-off strip featuring former Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson talking extensively about cars to an uninterested Big Issue salesman.

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I don’t have the Protestant work ethic, I have the Catholic work ethic; in that I don’t work but I do feel very guilty about that.” Rory O’Keeffe (2016) Captain Oats – a one-off strip lampooning the real Antarctic explorer Captain Lawrence Oates. An explorer obsessed with pornography and masturbation, he is depicted skiing across the icy wastes, dragging a wardrobe on its own set of skis upon which is hidden his stash of pornographic magazines. However, his efforts to masturbate are continually frustrated by the presence of his companions. Eventually he gives his famous line "I'm just going outside, I might be some time', and ends up in the latrine with his fingers freezing off.

A man goes to the beach and sees a woman with no legs and no arms, crying by the shoreline. He asks her what ́s wrong.My friend got a personal trainer a year before his wedding. I thought: ‘Bloody hell, how long’s the aisle going to be’.” Paul McCaffrey (2014)