I was hoping this would give tools/guidance on how to help someone with PDA or even things he thinks would benefit someone with PDA so they didn’t go the same route. I have tried to ask my director to have him evaluated for being on the spectrum, but she refuses because she doesn’t think that is what is going on, and the issue is just how mom and I are handling him. They continue during the school day; 'sit down, cross your legs, get your books out, raise your hand if you want to talk, be quiet, line up for assembly.

By labelling it ‘pathological’ (by definition in the Collins dictionary ‘ You describe a person or their behaviour as pathological when they behave in an extreme and unacceptable way and have very powerful feelings that they cannot control’ and is ‘involving or caused by a physical or mental disease’) you are entirely undermining their freedom of choice by saying that their avoidance is ‘extreme and unacceptable’; it is only extreme and unacceptable to the person making the request; not the PDA individual themselves. She kept developing UTIs and even had some accidents at work because she just couldn’t stand feeling like she had to use the restroom on a schedule. Over the last two years I have felt that we were just drifting further and further apart and I couldn't get why. Its still rational – as an autistic person, I shouldnt have to operate in the world like this, simple and necessary things shouldnt be like this – its wrong. PDAers are usually very open, honest, and straight-talking people, not backwards about coming forwards, as the saying goes.Our girl mostly refuses and avoids rather than fighting or fleeing; she curls up into a mushroom shape and is impossible to move.

I almost skimmed past your audiobook; not sure if it had what I was looking for, but then I saw that you were the author and I knew from having been a subscriber to your YouTube channel for a couple of years (give or take) that the chances of it being exactly what I was looking for were very good, and I was correct!An interesting and equally frustrating quality of PDA demand avoidance is that we also avoid things that we want to do. Intense interests and repetitive behaviour are often seen along with differing sensory experiences'.

For those unfamiliar with fawning, this is a defence response where the person becomes solely focused on pleasing the person who has presented the threat.

It is a neurotype in its own right because, although it shares some characteristics with autistics, there are more that are either conflicting with autistic ones or are entirely different. As an adult now, we have some terrible interactions- he questions nearly every directive I give,no matter how small. As a fellow Aspie with PDA, I relate so very well with many of Harry’s prospectives, which had me nodding in agreement and spontaneously laughing as I took in every word. It has been a huge comfort to us to hear from adults with PDA and to know that the future can be rosy. The fear of the unknown, the dread of attention being focused on you, the knowledge that more difficult work is likely to follow if you do well and are praised.