Describe your child’s progress – Explain the process he/she completed when he/she accomplished a goal like sounding out each letter and putting them together to complete an entire sentence! Using “even though you know...” is not any better. A kid who hears this will just reply, “Yeah, that’s how I feel. So give me what I want.” When you run away from mommy in the store, I feel worried because you might get lost.” 25. Close the Discussion However this book is full of practical ways to make the everyday mundane things for fun for your child, and therefore you. And also has chapters on the little things that seem to be a battle with toddlers. (For example eating, fighting with sibling, getting in car seat when running late.) Young children inhabit their own special subcategory of humanity that combines a ferocious desire to actively modify their environment, with the energy of a tornado and the analytic skills of …well, a tornado. Truly the perfect storm.

Imagine complaining to a friend about something at work and they respond by a) blaming you; b) questioning your reaction; c) offering unsolicited advice; d) offering fake pity; e) psychoanalyzing you — you’d probably be annoyed. So, yeah. Don’t do that to your kid.Try not responding with words at all. Just let them talk their emotions out, and respond with little sounds: "Grr!" "Wow!" - I'm almost certain my own boss used this on me last year, it was super weird but it kindof worked. There are loads of other tips in this terrific book, which btw represents the strategy the wife and I have decided to go with here, so if our kid grows up to be a total asshole it's these peoples' fault. For instance:

Get the child on the same team. First, except the emotional joy of riding a tricycle in the living room. Second, can you define what the problem is which is that your little sister could get her fingers caught in the wheels. Thirdly, we need an idea to solve for the problem. The book says that when your kid complains about the food you give him, you should say “Sounds like you’re disappointed and in the mood for something else” (10). So kids should get to choose the meals everyday? Who’s the boss? Respect a kid’s struggle and encourage them to try. Doing it for them removes their agency in the world, which is even more frustrating than, say, a stubborn shoelace that won’t stay tied. Instead of thinking, “How can I control this child?” we can think of our child as being on the same team and invite his help and participation.” Punishments and rewards don’t always work as well as we think.You don’t even want to think about visiting your friend another time. You were looking forward to going today!” If you’re in a rush in the morning and struggle to get your kids ready to go in time, put your kids to bed in their next-day clothes instead of pajamas (236). Giving your co-worker the chance to present their views uninterrupted is important. Let them field their ideas in public or in private conversations. That will give rise to more cooperation. Same deal with kids. Replace punishment with more peaceful solutions. The only consequences that you can really manage are logical ones which are subjective. Logic, math are human constructs. Punitive consequences aren’t viable in the working world because employees have choice. Advises not punishing kids. “Can you remember being punished as a child? Did it inspire you to change your bad behavior” (88)? Yes, it did for me! And it did for many other kids I know! If a punishment doesn’t work, it’s because it isn’t harsh enough for the kid to care.