Melody Beattie is one of America’s most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles. Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term “codependency” in 1986. Millions of readers have trusted Melody’s words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they’re going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child. “Beattie understands being overboard, which helps her throw bestselling lifelines to those still adrift,” said Time Magazine. I've met many of you in my travels across the country. Some of you have written to me. Thank you for the love, support, and compassion you've shown me not only over the years, but throughout the rough, raw months of 1991 after Shane's death. When Beattie started learning to detach, she was forced to take responsibility for herself. That’s when she realized that other people weren’t the reason her life was a mess – she was just using them as an excuse to avoid her own problems. So she reminds us, over and over, that the path to recovery, sanity, and happiness starts with minding our own business and taking care of ourselves. In other words, it starts with self-care. Relieved to end the daily batterings but fearing reprisal, the woman looked up at the guru. To her surprise, the guru smiled. " Congragulations." he said, " you have graduated ". You know now everything you need to know."

Don’t get surprised if, from time to time, you lose the ground beneath your feet. It’s a symbolic expression that embodies our absolute necessity to vent anger and rage. Melody believes that emotional, mental, and spiritual health can never be taught. The only thing you can do actually to motivate a person or to encourage them is to take certain actions. Religion, God, and a higher power isn't for everyone. And when that is a reoccurring topic in a book meant to help someone struggling with codependency, mental illness, or just a rough chapter in their life, a person who is struggling with God, religion, or God as Him may have a hard time separating steps with their own emotional triggers or, simply, their beliefs. I felt I had a harder time stepping away from my own emotions to grasp the message. Ultimately, I wish this book was more Higher Power neutral that also aims to the agnostics, atheists, and religions who practices more with nature, the universe, or multiple gods. Melody was born in St. Paul, Minnesota in 1948. Her father left home when she was a toddler, and she was raised by her mother. She was abducted by a stranger at age four. Although she was rescued the same day, the incident set the tone for a childhood of abuse, and she was sexually abused by a neighbor throughout her youth. Her mother turned a blind eye, just as she had denied the occurrence of abuse in her own past. I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

These reactions are most likely learned in response to stress – for instance, the constant uncertainty of living with an alcoholic. And while these stress reactions can act as a coping mechanism, they only hurt us in the long run. That’s because, just like alcoholism, codependency is a progressive condition that doesn’t get better on its own;it only gets worse. Frequently, when I suggest to people that they detach from a person or problem, they recoil in horror. “Oh, no!” they say. “I could never do that. I love him, or her, too much. I care too much to do that. This problem or person is too important to me. I have to stay attached!” My answer to that is, “WHO SAYS YOU HAVE TO?” I’ve got news—good news. We don’t “have to.” There’s a better way. It’s called “detachment.”3 It may be scary at first, but it will ultimately work better for everyone involved.” After finishing Codependent No More, I can already feel that this will be a relationship game-changer. Like, Awaken the Giant Within, The Laws of Human Nature, Mindset, Flow, Messengers, You Are the Placebo, and Thinking, Fast and Slow. This feels like an immediate significant resource to share. What I didn’t know or recognize

I want to thank each person who has the courage to push through and past the set of coping behaviors we’ve come to label as codependency—who learn what it means to take care of themselves. “Nobody taught me how to take care of myself,” a fifty-year-old woman told me recently. “I didn’t have enough money to go to therapy, but I had enough to buy a book.”