Even our legal system legitimises the idea that people who hurt or kill their partners have snapped and lost control, committed a 'crime of passion'. A former police officer and internationally renowned professor of public protection, she lectures on sexualised and fatal violence; works with families bereaved through homicide; and trains police and other professionals on how to best handle cases involving coercive control, domestic abuse and stalking.

She has authored a new model for understanding and assessing risk of homicide in cases where there is domestic abuse.

Sadly, our children should read this too before they get too far down the track of looking for partners and relationships. This is why I think the rhetoric towards V Putin has to be tempered with a recognition of his position as head of a great state while denouncing his actions and leaving him room to save face. It was a whirlwind, with commitment happening far too quickly, he tried, but thankfully failed at isolating me from my family, he did manipulate me into leaving a job I mostly enjoyed though, and all of this happened in under six months. There is nothing wrong with the modern presumption of innocence legal process, but it is worth noting that its premise is like the contemporary judicial process, which puts the plaintiff and the defendant on an equal footing, and a premise that is insufficiently justified cannot draw a valid conclusion. In control: Dangerous relationships and how they end in murder by Jane Monckton-Smith © Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

Hard to read at times and deals with some shocking statistics, descriptions of abuse, murder etc but NECESSARY. And if I think you’re the type, my radar will be more finely tuned to other behaviours I have to look out for. Go read this, educate yourself on coercive control and join Jane Monckton-Smith in her mission to change the narrative from "crimes of passion" to "predictable patterns and calculated, cold-blooded murder". My colleagues are now ploughing through this as well and they all agree that a tidal wave of change is coming based on our understanding of control from this work. Having this knowledge will help you understand people, the ways control works and will help you be able to spot coercive or dangerous domestic situations, a skill you hopefully will never need, but is good to know nonetheless.

The process of escalation is examined in chapter five, with a focus on stalking based on fixation, obsession, unwanted contact and repeated behaviour.

When people think they’re in love, they’re totally happy for things to go really fast, and some of those relationships will be OK. You’ve got someone who’s willing and happy to have arguments and the victim will do anything to avoid arguing with this person.she just provides answers as to how to recognize and stop these crimes before they become homicides. obviously, this book deals with some heavy subject matter and because Monckton-Smith uses real life examples this book definitely comes with some trigger warnings, including domestic violence, rape, murder, forced pregnancy, child abuse, emotional blackmail and manipulation, gaslighting and stalking. The clues are very often there in what the person says about themselves and maybe more importantly what other people say about them. Just yesterday I was reading of a man who stabbed his ex wife and the judge said the Surrey police had to take some responsibility because they had not taken the women's predicament seriously and had made up their minds that the husband wasn't a danger.

This book forces us to look at the dangerous, damaging and distorted picture of control/jealousy/possessiveness as love. But, if you know what you're looking for, the author maintains that those seven first stages can be visible.There is a domestic violence epidemic happening right now, yet as a society we still turn a blind eye to it. The euphemism of someone who is always worried about angering potential lunatics is often seen as weak. In control’ provides an honest and detailed pathway through the homicide timeline, addressing the challenges that we face in recognising signs of coercive control. The patterns of behaviour and variety of approaching are just astounding - it is no surprise that the justice system struggles to keep up with this area of the law.