Alfie is a classic unreliable narrator as I learned the term – at school when studying another piece of Northern writing originally designed as drama, Alan Bennett's Talking Heads. He says something and then shortly afterwards contradicts, with words or action his own stated opinion of himself – or rather contradicts the way “most people” would interpret what he said, a sort of unconscious hypocrisy. Sometimes he does it in the same sentence: I don't mean thieving or anything like that, just the odd few bob a day [taken from the till at work]. Confieso que terminé tomando el libro detonado por la simpática película de Jude Law (que está muy vagamente basada en el texto original), pero en realidad Alfie resultó ser algo más entrañable, vigente y empático de lo que jam��s hubiera esperado. A woman told me she once went paralysed down one side of her face forcing herself to laugh at her old man’s jokes what she’d heard two million times. Yes, you make a married woman laugh and you’re halfway there. Course it doesn’t work with a single bird. It’ll set you off on the wrong foot. You get one of them laughing and you don’t get nothing else. Alfie es ese adorable hijo de puta que todos quisiéramos como amigo, o que en algún momento de la vida hemos sido. Un patán consumado en periodos tan ausentes de pertenencias que va encontrando los fragmentos de su hogar bajo las faldas de cada dama que conquista compulsivamente. Esta suerte de abuelo del personaje de Barney Stinson de How I Met Your Mother, tiene unos matices más complejos, dramáticos y efectivos que realmente lo vuelven alguien entrañable. Como una especie de Holly Golightly en versión británica, cínica, rota, triste y masculina. Con una hermosa fijación poética por referirse a las mujeres como "aves".

When Nia is given a pet turtle for her sixth birthday, the little girl takes Alfie to her heart, sharing all of her activities with him. His seeming unresponsiveness sees a falling off in her attentiveness, until the day of her seventh birthday, when he goes missing. Where can he be? It turns out, while Nia may have grown bored with Alfie, he is still enthralled with her, and has set out to find the perfect birthday gift. Unfortunately, as a turtle, he doesn't move very fast... Finding a battered Panther edition of this classic story that typifies London of a certain period whilst wandering around London "on business" seemed like fate, I can't say it helped me to appreciate the novel or the city more or less than if I'd read it at any other time but it was an enjoyable time nonetheless. Alfie.. Is a rake by such enormous standards! A jerk. A fool and a selfish player...and yet one can not put this book down. Alfie Gets in First - Alfie runs in the front door ahead of his Mum and slams the door behind him, causing a minor upset on the street before Alfie manages to open it for himself again.

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I've read about half of this book, but what I've read so far is very amusing and very chilling. I gather ALFIE was first a play, then a movie and then a novel, but, inasmuch as the play, the screenplay and the novel were each written by Bill Naughton, I think I may say that ALFIE is, in either of its incarnations, the expression of one artist's view of a particular type of man. They are a little bigger in size than a CD case which seems small, but they are perfect for little hands. Big enough for cosy-ing up close on the sofa for a read, the pictures are big enough to be able to see all the detail, but sometimes you need to look closely (which is fun) If there’s two things I like to do, then the first thing is having it away with a nice old married bird, they’re so much more grateful than the single ones, I have found, and the second thing is chewing somebody’s ear off about all the interesting observations I have made about life. When I say life, course, I generally mean the old how’s your father and the ways you can get yourself set up just lovely. If you’re a bloke that is. But even if you’re a bird all is not lost. You just have to figure out a few of the basics and you’ll be okay too. But for blokes, this is the way I think it should go.

But this book is also a heartfelt insight to Alfie's unmasked truth for the first time ever. His unflinching honesty reveals not only the success stories, but also the pressures and how, through challenging times, he learned more about himself than he ever thought possible. I think I’ll have a whisky", I said. "A Dimple Haig, if you’ve got it." I knew she hadn’t. And to be quite frank I wouldn’t know a Dimple Haig from Long Tom except for the shape of the bottle, but I find I like reeling off a name now and again. Alfie is a turtle - one who disappears. This book, which is really two stories, tells the tale of Nia, who got a turtle for her 6th birtday, and Alfie, the turtle, who went exploring and was gone for a full year.

I think it's interesting that the play and film script came before it was adapted into a book, as usually it's the other way around. Despite Alfie's narcissism and his hideous treatment of his birds, there is something charismatic about him and even when he's at his absolute worst there's something redeeming there. Heder's prose is spare, leaving the reader space to savor the words and appreciate the illustrations. The text doesn't really convey that Alfie was on his adventure for a full year, but the illustrations give clues about the changing seasons, and the birthday balloons with Nia's age give additional hints. Also, I recommend because all in all it is a very readable book. Quirky, at times funny and entertaining by a long shot. What is it going to take for this man to finally grow up, to for once value what a woman is? When I finally came to a culminating event in Alfie’s life, I almost started hyperventilating just reading about it and then became sad that this is what it was going to have to take to make Alfie finally grow up. But oddly, Alfie makes a statement that started me on an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Instead of being sad or disgusted at what was going on, I found myself laughing hard at the fact that even after all this Alfie did not grasp the seriousness of what had just happened to him. And then I had to ask myself why I was laughing at something so serious. What is wrong with me? This is a book where I would like to read a sequel to find out what happens to Alfie as he gets older. Does he finally grow up? I’m always prepared to make an adjustment. If I’m having it off with a short bandy-legged bint I keep telling myself how marvellous bow legs are and asking myself why I don’t go in for them more. Same with great big fat birds. Whoever I’m with at the time is my favourite type, if you see what I mean. That’s what we’re here for, to make one another happy.

Alfie is selfish, a player, and just completely clueless when it comes to life and women. He’s so clueless in his own little world of justifications for the way he treats women and explanations for the way women think that he truly believes he has all the answers to life and love (or how to steer clear of it, at least). He refers to women as objects, often times calling them “it”, bird, or bint. These women, and there are plenty, all serve one purpose, and that is to provide pleasure for Alfie. He sees them as nothing more and is so ready to discard them when he has no more use for them or when things get a bit complicated. And yet, I couldn’t help but like Alfie, with all his cluelessness. Alfie's Feet - Alfie is taken to the shop to buy Welly Boots, He puts them on himself, but on the wrong feet.

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And Alfie is Michael Caine. His is the voice you hear in your head as you read this speedy, funny, sad, piquant swinging London novel. No one else could possibly do. I believe that for any self-respecting geezer, he needs three birds on the go at any one time. Otherwise he may get a little depressed. You may take my word that four is too much. With four mistakes will be made, and there may be consequences. And with only two you could find yourself at a loose end of an evening as they are both otherwise engaged or not in the mood for the hanky panky. Which would never do. So that’s why you need the three. It’s best if two are married like I say and one is a single. Dad is, a mite irritatingly, always sitting reading his paper. But, it's a minor gripe. Mostly, everyone looks happy - cheerfully resigned to the mess of early childhood.