I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come…Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.” She comes close, starts playing with his beard, whispers in his ear, “Santa, don’t you have a gift you would like to give me?” He sat up. The bedroom was clean and tidy; there was no trail of drunkenly abandoned clothes, fresh air was coming in through the window and all was serene. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for the coming Christmas Eve.

But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels without anyone realising. As a result, the sister gets the gloves and the guy takes home a gift box containing the panties. The spotty youth pointed to the Christmas mistletoe above the counter and said, “This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per meter.” A gingerbread man went to the doctor’s complaining of a sore knee. The doctor asked him. “Have you tried icing it?”He was desperate for some holiday spirit. 12. Why does Mrs. Claus always pray for a white Christmas?

You can slam your laptop shut when your partner walks into the room, and you don’t get any disgusted looks.

Dad jokes, they’re cheeky and cheesy and can bring as many frowns as they do smiles, but they bring joy to a lot of people and are a Christmas tradition for many families. If you’re looking for some new material this year, then we’ve got it covered. Three garbage men were doing their Christmas rounds and collecting their well earned Xmas tips and gifts from the grateful householders when they arrived at a pleasant house at the end of a cul-de-sac. Say your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas…Can I visit between the holidays?” Our offices are closed weekends and public holidays but we will respond to you the following working day. Your Statutory Rights Then an angel walked into his office and asked, “Hey, Santa, what do you want me to do with this Christmas tree?”

We do everything we can to ensure that you receive perfect goods and that they meet your expectations based on our images and descriptions. That’s what Mrs. Claus calls it… 22. Say your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas… Cost is based on the weight of the items in your shopping basket, you will be able to review this in the shopping basket screens. Collection in Person The Santa at the shopping mall was quite surprised when he saw Martha, a woman in her mid-twenties, asking to sit on his lap. We all know Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled at him very nicely, and he ended up asking her what she wanted for Christmas.So my girlfriend wanted a white Christmas…But when I came on her face that morning, she didn’t even thank me.” When you take them off remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left. 19. Why does Santa go to strip clubs?